When Self-Awareness Became My Leadership Advantage
- Pepper Wilson
- Feb 20
- 5 min read
Twenty years ago, I received my first comprehensive personality assessment. I still remember sitting in that office, listening as the facilitator walked through the results. Each insight felt like a spotlight on things I’d tried to keep hidden—even from myself.
What did I do with this valuable feedback? I tucked the report into a filing cabinet and shut the drawer. (Not my proudest moment!)
For four years, that assessment gathered dust. The information was too worrisome, highlighting patterns that made me think, “This will surely hold me back.” I wasn’t ready to face what it revealed about my strengths, flaws, and opportunities.
It took four years of leadership experience—some successes, plenty of failures—before I finally pulled that file back out. What I found wasn’t the career death sentence I’d feared, but rather a roadmap to understanding myself. That moment began a transformation in how I approach leadership—both my own and others’.
The Hidden Leadership Superpower
Most leaders are trained to act. To decide. To move forward.
But here’s a truth: the most profound leadership tool isn’t action—it’s awareness. When you understand yourself deeply, everything changes. Your decisions become more intentional. Your impact becomes more aligned with your intentions. Your team’s trust deepens because they experience consistency rather than the leadership whiplash of reactivity.
Think of self-awareness as your leadership compass. Without it, you might be moving fast—but in what direction? True awareness helps you:
Recognize your patterns before they control your choices
Choose your response rather than react from habit
Understand your impact before it becomes your reputation
See opportunities for growth before they become limitations
The Inner Work That Changes Everything
After reopening that assessment, I began spending significant time reflecting on what I truly believed about myself, my values, and my assumptions about success. I started listening to the voice in my head—really listening—and questioning whether I believed what it was saying.
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. (That inner critic isn’t always right, even when it sounds convincing!)
This practice has developed into a disciplined focus on building self-awareness: understanding how I show up, how I impact others, what excites me, what irritates me—and most importantly, why. What are the specific factors driving each response within me?
This inner work has revealed something crucial: self-awareness isn’t just nice to have—it’s fundamental to effectively leading others. Without it, we’re simply projecting our unexamined patterns onto our teams. And let’s be honest, nobody signed up for that.
Why Most Leaders Struggle with Self-Awareness
Despite its importance, self-awareness remains elusive for most leaders. The reasons are surprisingly straightforward:
1. The Action Bias
In leadership positions, we’re rewarded for decisiveness and action. This creates a bias against the seemingly “passive” work of reflection. Yet without reflection, we’re doomed to repeat patterns rather than evolve them. It’s like refusing to look at the map because you’re too busy driving.
2. The Feedback Desert
As you rise in an organization, honest feedback becomes increasingly rare. People tell you what they think you want to hear, not what you need to hear. (Nothing dries up authentic feedback faster than a promotion!)
3. The Blind Spot Paradox
The areas where we most need awareness are, by definition, our blind spots. We can’t see what we can’t see—at least not without deliberate practice and outside perspective. It’s like trying to see the back of your own head without a mirror.
The Two Dimensions of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness isn’t one-dimensional. Research by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich reveals two distinct types:
Internal self-awareness: Understanding your own values, passions, aspirations, reactions, and impact on others. This is your internal compass.
External self-awareness: Understanding how other people view you, your values, and your effectiveness. This is your reality check.
Leaders need both. Internal awareness without external perspective creates delusional leadership. External awareness without internal grounding creates a leadership style driven by others’ expectations rather than authentic purpose. Either extreme leaves you ineffective.
The Leadership Transformation Cycle
Real leadership growth follows a predictable pattern that begins with awareness:
Awareness: Seeing your patterns clearly
Understanding: Recognizing why these patterns exist
Choice: Creating space between stimulus and response
Practice: Building new leadership habits
Impact: Experiencing different results
Most leadership development tries to start at step 4 (practice) without the foundation of the earlier steps. This is why so many leadership development efforts fail—new behaviors without new awareness rarely stick. It’s like trying to change your golf swing without understanding what you’re doing wrong in the first place.
The Paradox of Slowing Down to Speed Up
In leadership, there’s a counterintuitive truth: sometimes you need to slow down to speed up. Taking time for reflection isn’t a luxury—it’s a strategic necessity that pays dividends in better decisions, stronger relationships, and more sustainable performance.
Leaders who build reflection into their routine report:
Greater clarity about priorities
Improved emotional regulation in high-pressure situations (fewer regrettable emails!)
Stronger team relationships
More innovative thinking
Higher levels of personal satisfaction
Building Your Self-Awareness Practice
While there are many pathways to greater self-awareness, the most accessible starting point is self-reflection. It’s immediate, flexible, and always available. However, our blind spots can limit what we see on our own.
That’s why I recommend combining approaches:
Start Quick: Daily Reflection + Informal Feedback
Pair daily self-reflection with informal feedback from trusted colleagues. This combination gives you both internal insights and external perspectives.
A simple practice that takes less than five minutes:
WOW: What was the best thing that happened today?
POW: What was the challenging moment you faced?
This isn’t just reflection—it’s training your mind to notice both success and challenge, to see patterns as they emerge rather than after they’ve become habits. As you build consistency with these simple questions, you’ll develop the reflection habit that distinguishes truly transformative leaders.
From Self-Awareness to Leadership Excellence
Remember that self-awareness isn’t the destination—it’s the foundation. The goal isn’t just to know yourself better but to lead better because you know yourself.
When you understand your patterns, preferences, and blind spots, you gain the power to:
Lead authentically rather than reactively
Build teams that complement your strengths
Navigate challenges with wisdom rather than just willpower
Create an environment where others can thrive
Sustain your leadership impact over the long term
Begin Your Leadership Transformation
My personal journey from filing away feedback to embracing self-awareness has transformed how I lead—and how I help others lead. If you’re ready to take the first step toward greater self-awareness, I’ve created a resource to guide you. “Great Leadership is Built: A 30-Day Guide to Reflection” offers a structured approach to developing your self-awareness practice, with simple daily prompts and deeper reflection questions to help you see yourself more clearly as a leader.
The journey to exceptional leadership begins with a single moment of honest reflection. Are you ready to take that first step?
